


Amongst All The Universes (And Planets And Stars And Moons)

by TheBeautifulLove



Category: K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Feelings Realization, Getting Together, M/M, Romance, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 09:20:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19373809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBeautifulLove/pseuds/TheBeautifulLove
Summary: Jeon Wonwoo doesn’t look for love but he looks for Wen Junhui.





	Amongst All The Universes (And Planets And Stars And Moons)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all!  
> I'm trying to get back to writing  
> and try to finish all the projects  
> I started but we will see how it goes.  
> This just popped into my head, so enjoy! xx

Jeon  Wonwoo isn ’t look ing  for  _ love _ . 

He  isn ’t look ing  for something that he can live perfectly without. He  i sn’t look ing  for something he’s not allowed to have anyway ,  due to a binding contract, stored somewhere at the bottom of an old cupboard at his family’s house. 

He’s surrounded by people twenty-four seven and that’s already way too much for his introverted personality sometimes. Like now. The rapper looks around at his members fooling around and feels strangely out of place, feels strangely old. 

Or maybe it’s just that his soul is old,  much  like the book in his hands. Maybe that’s why it feels so right to read in silence rather than scream at the top of his lungs. 

The invisible wall separating two worlds – his members and him. Despite the headache building at the back of his head, he smiles, like a proud parent watching  their  children play, he likes to watch his members, prefers to watch from afar than get involved. 

Maybe his soul is  _ too _  old. Maybe endless centuries are truly too long.

Perhaps even souls die and his  own  is nearing its  inevitable  end.

He closes the book when the voices in the room get too loud to ignore, when the letters on the page no longer form any familiar words, when the sentences stop making sense. He massages his temples and quietly gets up from the sofa. Few steps of his long legs and  Wonwoo  has already managed to sneak away to the corridor. The noise gets quieter as he walks and soon, behind the door of his own room, he exhales a deep breath, closing his eyes. 

The voices from the living room are now a sweet, low background, an ambient noise that aids his concentration. 

The sun begins to set outside the large window when he finishes the chapter. The sky is a striped painting of pink and blue and he would walk to the window to gaze at  it  for a  long  moment if he wasn’t so tired. So lazy and deep down to the bone exhausted, that the only thing he dreams of is to remain on his bed, the only  thing he’s willing to put effort into is reading . 

The rapper  stays in place, tearing his eyes from the window but only makes it halfway through the next chapter  of the novel  until there is a knock at  the  door. When he tells the person behind it to come in, he waits for an elongated moment until Jun slowly makes his way into Wonwoo’s room with two steaming cups in his hands. 

He  watches in curiosity as the other carefully crosses the room towards the bedside table. The elder’s eyes are wide, focused on the things in his hands and his lips are slightly opened. 

‘You looked tense. In the living room earlier, so I thought camomile tea might help.’ 

The small, grateful smile appears on  Wonwoo’s  lips pretty automatically. He doesn’t even realise he’s closing and putting his book away without marking the page where he left off, and soon his hands reach out to take one of the pretty , hand-painted  cups from the table. 

‘Thanks.’ He looks inside  it , admiring the shiny surface of the amber coloured liquid. ‘I was day-dreaming of tea earlier but was too lazy to g et up  and make it.’ Wonwoo confesses, inhaling the delicate smell of the herbs and enjoying the warm steam tickling his face. 

Jun’s melodic giggle makes him look up at the other. ‘That’s so Jeon  Wonwoo .’ Jun r eplies, r oll ing  his eyes  slightly .  Wonwoo  thinks that that’s so Wen Junhui but doesn’t state his thoughts aloud.

Jun picks up the other cup and walks to stand by the window. He takes a small sip and looks outside, his eyes scanning the whole sky in wonder, drinking  in  the beautiful view  that  Wonwoo  was too lazy to come and  watch . 

In the orange light of the disappearing sun, Jun’s brown hair shine s ,  it seem s  almost like deep amber with gold flecks woven into it, like some delicate diadem decorating his head. With the teacup in his hand by his lips and light in his eyes, he looks royal, there is a strange infinite liveliness and total calmness radiating from him at the same time. 

Something about  that fleeting moment  is like time has stopped;  Wonwoo  feels like he’s watching a scene that will never repeat itself again  and  he can’t tear his eyes from  the slightly older boy . 

‘So beautiful.’ The dancer whispers, eyes focused on some faraway point, probably the sun that seems so close but is actually millions of kilometres away from earth. 

‘Unbelievable.’  Wonwoo  agrees, taking a sip of his tea to wake himself from the reverie, the warm liquid on his tongue tastes like  a  hot summer evening but it seems to only lull him to sleep more because when he looks up at the other boy again, he seems even more otherworldly. Even more serene. Looking at him makes  Wonwoo  weirdly excited and calm and assured at the same time. 

‘Beautiful.’ He’s whispering too, scared to break the spell but Jun only drinks more of his tea and nods once , unaware of what’s going on in the other’s head . 

They don’t need many words, they never did and  Wonwoo  feels his headache going away with every moment they stay silent, just drinking tea, the room darkening with every passing second until the sun is gone completely and the sky is turning indigo but Jun doesn’t move from the window and  Wonwoo  notices  that  even without the sunlight, the other boy hasn’t lost any of his  glow . 

Wonwoo  finally gets up from the bed and joins him by the window.  Maybe he’s a bit too late but maybe he’s not  _ too _  late yet.

He stands as close as he thinks he’s allowed  to  without crossing any  personal  boundaries but even when Jun is within his reach, it seems like he’s million kilometres away. 

Just like the sun  that was there just seconds earlier . 

‘Beautiful.’  Wonwoo  hears himself whisper ing  again and this time  the Chinese boy ’s eyes shift to his face. Th ey stare at each other until something changes in those dark brown eyes again.

‘The sun has already set  though .’ There is a note of confusion in his voice and his lips are adorably open, full and pretty and pink like the sky was minutes ago. 

‘I know.’ He just smiles. The excitement wins over the calmness and some sudden tension like tiny sparks of electricity seem to float around the room. 

Jun blinks twice, adorably, seemingly giving up trying to find out what the other means. Yet at that moment  Wonwoo  decides to open his mouth and explain, choosing to ignore that the sleepiness and calm ness  in his heart got suddenly replaced but anticipation and nerves  for some reason . 

‘I was talking about you.’ 

And maybe it was always there. Maybe there was always something behind Jun’s long stares and maybe those words were always there, at the tip of  Wonwoo’s  tongue, waiting to be said. Just maybe.

It takes a moment for the elder to realise what the rapper just said, but when he does, more adorable blinking follows and pink lips open again, his breath hitches. It’s barely audible but in the dead silence of the room it’s so clear, unavoidable. 

Wonwoo  immediately regrets being so bold, so sudden, so out of place then when he feels Jun’s surprised, shy eyes on him, curious, so prettily brown and wide open, then again suddenly he wants to say even more. Wants more reactions from Jun, more cute sounds...  He’s pretty sure he’s never felt so insane with his thoughts, with his feelings before.

Oh, there is a blush too. And short, uneven breaths and suddenly  Wonwoo wants to put his cold hands on those flaming cheeks ,  he wants to take Jun’s breath completely away and...

‘Me?’ There is no panic, no fear in his voice. It’s just shaky with emotion and ...  doubt maybe. Completely natural, unforced . Kind of  like the sunset  each evening .

Wonwoo just stares at him, gripping the delicate porcelain cup in his hand hard, his heart hammering like it wants to get out . ‘You. You, only you. In all the galaxies and amongst all the suns, it’s you.’ He rushes to assure and he knows he’s babbling with no thought but his brain is foggy and the background noise from before is gone too and there is  only  truth in the air around them, and nerves and nowhere to run but regardless, neither of them has moved an inch. 

Time seems to pass slower than ever when Jun takes a moment to think. 

‘The universe is so vast, there are endless planets, are you sure you don’t want to look for something more special? There are billions of people in the world, are you really sure,  Wonwoo ?’ The rapper drinks  in  the slightly accented words, enjoys  the way  Jun says his name,  differently than any other person on the planet,  admires the sounds, appreciates that the other hasn’t run  away  from him yet,  hasn’ t reject ed  his confession... Is it even a confession? 

What is he even saying? What does he mean?

His lips open to confirm instinctively but the reality finally hits; everything he’s just said and  Wonwoo  panics. ‘I’m sorry.’ He takes the almost empty cup from Jun’s warm hands in a rush, avoids the other’s eyes, ‘I’ll take those to the sink  to wash ,’ he stutters and nearly runs to the door, struggling a bit with the handle since his hands are full, like an animal that’s trapped, blindly rushing to escape. He breathes only when he’s on the other side. 

Burning cheeks and shaky fingers, the cups slip out of his hands into the steel kitchen sink and make a noise that rings in his brain. 

‘Are you okay?’ He startles a gain, nerves still very much on edge, a nd shifts his eyes up to Mingyu standing there, few feet away.  Wonwoo  didn’t even notice he was in the kitchen  when  he’s walked in. ‘You look a little out of your mind.’  He laughs a little.

The rapper  looks to where the younger is pouring ruby - red wine into two , beautifully engraved, crystal  glasses. Without asking he knows one is for himself and the other is for  Minghao . 

‘I think I am...’ he breathes in response to the latter statement, watching the deep redness of the liquid like blood, intense and inviting but  it’s  not for him. 

He needs some peace; he needs to slow down and think. Needs to  _ breathe _ . 

‘Hey,  Wonwoo , are you ill or something?’ Worry creeps into  the other rapper ’s voice when the elder leans with his hands on the sink and closes his eyes. 

Before he can reply or react, a certain dancer’s voice sounds  from outside the kitchen . 

‘What’s taking so long, did you break a glass again?’ There is amusement and genuine curiosity in  Minghao’s  voice then  when  he appears in the entrance seconds later, hair mussed up and shirt hanging loosely on his exposed shoulders, strange light in his eyes like tiny flames . H e’s looking  at them from under  half-closed lids and it’s just like  Minghao  often looks but at the same completely different. It startles and confuses  Wonwoo  for a second until it becomes clear.

‘Oh, hi,  Wonwoo , still up?’ His eyes change when they land  directly  at him, the rapper stands there speechless for a second before pulling himself together. 

‘I think it’s just a headache, I’ll go lay down in my room.’ He’s moving away already towards the exit. Giving a small, weak smile at the dancer, ‘Enjoy your evening guys,’ he adds to appear casual before disappearing into the corridor. 

The short walk to his room is quiet, the members all probably in bed now or doing something in their rooms but in the silence, his thoughts are spinning and deep breaths are not enough anymore. It’s like he’s drunk or high or worse; the world doesn’t make sense again. 

All he can suddenly think about is Mingyu,  Minghao  and the two glasses of red wine. How they’ll spend the evening, not for the first time in the dancer’s room, surrounded by  Minghao’s  paintings and  the  pretty white lights twinkling at them from the walls where they hang. With the alcohol running in his veins, Mingyu will get bolder with his words and  Minghao  will no longer shy from physical contact as much. 

It’s a dangerous combination,  Wonwoo  realises and suddenly it all makes sense and he might have lied before but the headache is building at his temples for real now. 

How has he never noticed it? How didn’t he notice how diligently Mingyu kept restocking his and  Minghao’s  wine shelf? How didn’t he notice  Minghao  buying lower and lower cut shirts, under the pretence of them being in fashion? 

When he finally makes it to his bedroom a while later, mentally exhausted but also strangely satisfied by being able to put the pieces together, the room is empty. It’s dark and the magical glow from before is gone but the weird tension still hangs in the air. 

Wonwoo  changes into his pyjamas and lies down in his bed. Tired, a little scared and confused, he thinks that Mingyu and  Minghao  must be at their second glass of wine  at least  by now and he sighs into the dead silence of the night, feeling cold and lifeless, craving warm camomile tea. 

***

Jeon  Wonwoo  doesn’t look for love but he looks for Wen Junhui.

He looks for him around the house, hoping he’s somewhere, sitting alone in a corner, so that he can go up to him and apologize again but Jun doesn’t leave his room right until they’re leaving for a schedule.  Wonwoo  then looks  at  his face more often than necessary when they do interview s . Hearing other members and TV presenters saying the dancer’s name sends a bunch of butterflies in his stomach and he feels hot and cold at the same time, wondering if he’s possibly catching a cold. 

But then he looks up to the other boy again and their eyes meet for a brief seconds before  Wonwoo  quickly looks away again. The feeling intensifies and he knows it’s definitely not a cold he’s catching but  _ feelings _ _. _ T he thing he’s always tried to avoid. He told himself he doesn’t need it and is not even allowed it but in a middle of an important interview he realises he still doesn’t need love but he needs Jun and he wants to be allowed to have him.

He tries not to look again, stays perfectly in place, eyes glued to the light -coloured  wooden floor but he wonders if Jun hates him now after what happened yesterday. No, he wouldn’t hate him, he naively tries to convince himself. But does he love him? No, he can’t expect that much, why would Jun pay attention to someone like him...

‘ Wonwoo , what do you think?’ The interviewer is staring at him and so are all his members and he has no idea what they we’ve been talking about all this time. 

‘Hmm, I..., well, I...’ he starts nervously, his throat is so dry and no words are coming out. 

‘I think the grown-up love that we try to portray in this album is very different to the young love that we’ve been showing until now. Grown-up love is confident, it’s two people knowing exactly what they want from each other and taking it, knowing the other person will always be there.’ Jun’s voice fills the awkward silence and  Wonwoo  breathes a relieved breath. 

He knows the dancer is talking about their new album, their songs but the answer hits  Wonwoo  like a punch in the stomach. He begins to feel sick. Sick with regret, sadness and guilt. 

He wishes he could turn back time. If he could he would go back to that evening, he wouldn’t apologize and he wouldn’t run. He would tell Jun that among st  all  the  universes and planets and moons and suns, there is only Jun that he truly needs and rather than all the pretty stars in the night sky ,  he only wants to watch Jun every night. 

***

Jeon  Wonwoo  doesn’t look for love but he looks for ways to make things right with Wen Junhui.

He tries to tell himself it’s because he cares about their friendship but there are only so many lies you can tell yourself before it’s too much and you start to hate yourself for even taking the  pointless  effort. 

It’s just  that  every time he’s trying to talk to the other, there are other people there or he’s busy or he’s sleeping or  he’s  on the phone with his  parents  and Wonwoo can take a hint that he’s avoiding him. He deserves it he guesses. 

So, it’s a surprise when someone knocks on his door one evening and Jun comes in with a cup of tea in his hand, for a split second it’s like a  deja -vu, so he just watches the boy place it gently on his night stand. It’s just one, not two cups but it’s Jun coming to his room with camomile tea on his own, so  Wonwoo  can’t help but watch in surprise and hope. 

‘I bought this big jar of camomile tea and it doesn’t taste as good when I drink it alone in my room, so here, maybe at least you can still enjoy  it .’ He explains in a gentle voice,  not even a greeting or anything after days of silence,  eyes glassy and unsure but sincere. 

Wonwoo  is speechless and Jun only presses his lips into a thin line and turns to leave. 

That’s when alarms sound at the back of the rapper’s head and he suddenly gets up from his bed. 

‘Jun, wait.’ He says loudly, confidently, then wonders if  perhaps  it sounded  a bit  too forceful, so he adds in a gentler voice: ’Stay, please.’ 

He stops but doesn’t turn around and  Wonwoo  misses him even more when he’s here. Close but too far away. Just like the sun that has already set today. The rapper knows he should say something but he’s scared nothing will be enough, nothing will convey his feelings properly. 

So , instead,  he just walks to stand behind Jun in the middle of the dim room. ‘Don’t go.’ He whispers and when the other doesn’t move to go anywhere and still doesn’t turn around to face him, he takes the final step forward and wraps his long arms around Jun’s waist, pulling him close. 

He presses one side of his face into  the back of his neck , feeling the soft  skin  on his cheek and  Jun’s hair tickling the side of his forehead and  doesn’t let go. ‘I’m sorry. For running away that time. I started it all, got some sudden confidence and then panicked and left you there, when it was clear you didn’t  even  intent to reject me...’  he feels  Jun’s soft hands rest on top of his own  shyly  and he could stay like this forever.  ‘Can you forgive me?’ 

Jun leans into the hug a little ,  to  Wonwoo’s  delight. ‘I’m still here, aren’t I?’ His voice is calm, clear like a church bell. ‘What do you think the answer is?’ 

‘You’re too good to me, Jun.’ He presses a light kiss to the back of the neck he’s been pressed to for minutes now. The Chinese boy shivers a little and it makes  Wonwoo’s  heart jump. ‘When did you realize you love me?’ 

It’s a bold question but he’s not afraid to ask. He has a feeling Jun wouldn’t mind. 

The other boy starts to slowly turn around in his arms ,  so  Wonwoo  loosens his grip to allow him  th a t a nd soon they’re face to face and it feels weirdly more real now. Scarier too. 

‘It’s been so long, I honestly don’t even remember,  Wonwoo .’ He sighs, his shoulders drop a bit lower, like he’s getting rid of some heavy burden off his shoulders. Have his feelings towards the rapper cost him this much? Has he spent sleepless nights thinking, fantasising? Did he indulge in imagining how it could be? 

Wonwoo  stares into his eyes and his heart is beating even crazier now at the possibilities of what Jun went through because of him and he feels strangely guilty and also excited... He wishes he could realise what he has realised recently, much earlier. He’s always liked Jun close to him, felt calm and assured when he  was  right there but it took time to see that there is another “close” that he never noticed before; another dimension that he can enter where Jun is not just close but pressed to his chest, comfortably in Wonwoo’s arms. 

‘You’re beautiful.’ Is all his foggy brain can produce right now  though.

Jun’s eyebrows rise a little. ‘Is that why you like me?’ 

‘I like beautiful eyes, beautiful lips and beautiful souls.  Is that so bad? ’ The small smile on the other’s lips is everything. ‘I like camomile tea and amongst the billions of people in the world, I only want to drink it with you.’

There are questions in Jun’s eyes. ‘Why now?’ 

He gets lost in the boy’s eyes and the answer is somewhere, in his brain, probably but he has trouble finding it. ‘I’m not looking for love.’ He blurts out and sees the dancer’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. ‘I mean, I wasn’t looking for it, I didn’t know it was so close, so close around me but I realise I’m always looking for you. I realised there are different ways to be close to someone, to see them in a different light.’ Once again, in his mind , he sees a glass of  red wine and the faces of two  certain Seventeen  members ,  then he imagines a pretty porcelain cup filled with fragrant amber liquid and he thinks he understands the world a bit more.

‘To me... In my eyes, you were always in a spotlight. Drawing in my eyes, making me think I was crazy, thinking it’s so wrong then finally accepting that it’s okay to want someone. It’s sad to not be able to have them but it’s still fine to adore them in silence.’ 

A relieved breath leaves  Wonwoo’s  lips but his heart picks up pace. He suddenly wants to pull Jun closer and tries to stop himself because he knows it’s their only chance to get everything out of their hearts, this is perfect moment but Jun’s confession makes him speechless and he thinks he understands but he has trouble believing. 

Wonwoo  thinks back to the way Jun’s breath hitched that first evening  and he thinks for a long moment then  chooses his next words carefully. ‘Don’t be silent anymore,  Junnie .’ He looks him in the eyes, not blinking, serious. ‘I want to hear you; I want to know  it all .’ He knows there are layers of meaning behind his reply but  Wonwoo  doesn’t regret anything when the pretty blush paints itself on Jun’s cheeks and the embarrassment makes the older  boy  look down. 

Jun puts his arms around  Wonwoo’s  neck and presses closer to him, hiding this face, pressing his cheek to the soft  white  t-shirt. 

‘I’ll be loud.’ He mumbles into the material but the rapper hears  every word very  clearly and something stirs in him, for a moment he doesn’t know how to deal with it but then he just hugs the other tight. He decides not to overthink .

That seems to work  much  better. 

Jeon  Wonwoo  doesn’t look for  _ love _ .

(But  _ love _  doesn’t care and has found Jeon  Wonwoo  anyway.)


End file.
